Shit Happens Day and Night

Shit Happens Day and Night

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Pics by Copilot

“Listen to this,” she says, reading from the magazine she has been reading for the last hour or so. “Can Never go hand in hand with Always? Never, says Never. Always, says Always.”

She looks at him. He shows no interest. Instead, he continues reading a newspaper he has been reading for the last hour or so.

“Have you heard me?”

“Yes, I’ve heard you. What about it?”

“This was what they call flash literature or something, a short story called ‘Never Says Never, Always Says Always’.”

“Indeed, a very short one.”

“But don’t you think this funny?”

“I may think it stupid, if you really insist on my opinion.”

“Well then, hear this. The story was submitted to the editor of a certain literary magazine by a writer from Argentina. On the same day the editor received a very similar contribution from another writer from Iceland. This other story is tilted ‘Never Says Always, Always Says Never’ and reads: Can Never go hand in hand with Always? Never, says Always. Always, says Never.”

She looks at him. Again, he shows no interest.


“Have you heard me?”

“Yes, I’ve heard you.”

“And what do you say to this? Don’t you think this is, you know…”

“That’s the end?”


“Well, then,” he stops reading what he has been reading and looks up at her, “I say there’s nothing to it”.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this shit happens day and night, and will, till hell freezes over”.

He goes back to his newspaper. She looks at him as if she wanted to say something but finally decides otherwise and focuses on her magazine. They are both reading for some time. The silence grows.

Then he puts down the newspaper, gets up and leaves the room, heading for a bathroom or kitchen, who knows. While passing through the corridor, he suddenly freezes in an awkward position. He utters some hardly distinguishable sounds that may form a female name, or a part of it, “Barb”, or something. The woman hears the call and answers while reading on:

“Yes, David?”

He collapses to the floor. There he rests supine, undisturbed, unable and unwilling to produce any more sounds, his chest motionless for the first time in his life.

Will Settles the Bill 

Will Settles the Bill

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Pic ©by Copilot

Will Settles the Bill

By dividing everything

What is and

What is not into

What is and

What is not,

We are like a fish that

Says to the other

In a scholarly voice:

“Now the aquarium,

Then beyond the aquarium,

And we have to come to terms with it”,

Hoping that these words

Will settle the bill.

Catching the Erased Head 

Catching the Erased Head

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Pic ©by DALL·E

Lynch, while talking about the genesis of his film Erazor Head, says that he himself could not understand what the film was about for a very long time. He was desperately looking for some key that would allow him to logically combine all the material that had already been shot. At some point of this process, he was reading the Bible and came across a sentence that would fit the lock. In a moment that he describes as enlightenment he suddenly realised what exactly the film he was making was about. What was the sentence? I have never revealed this to anyone, says Lynch, and I don’t think I will ever do so.  

Philosopher’s Stein

Philosopher's Stein

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Pic ©by DALL·E

Gustaw Herling-Grudziński, in a short story betitelt “Kamień filozoficzny”, schreibt über Altotas, w roku 1768 gestorben alchemist and filozof, who used to speak mieszaniną drei languages, Italian, Französisch und Arabisch. Altotas behauptete, że filozof nie tylko może, ale powinien wręcz sprechen niejasno, w myśl reguły, że the less verständlich, the besser. This weird, wysoce idiosyncratic Sprache przejął po nim sein Student Cagliostro, z takim skutkiem, że the lesser he was verstanden, tym bardziej he was worshiped und admired, sagt Herling.

Like Hot Cocks 

Like Hot Cocks

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Pic ©by DALL·E

Who are you? I mean your job.  

I am a disragphic desinger.  

A what?  

See, even this can go wrong with me.  



What is it?  

Neurological disorder that results in writing various disabilities. Like dyslexia.  

OK, I got it. But what exactly do you do?  

I misspell words.  

No, I mean, what it actually means to be a disraphic designer?  


Right, discgraphic. What is your job then, what do you do?  

I design t-shirts.  


With misspelled names on them.  

Like what?  

Like “I’m a Disragphic Desinger”.  

And what?  

And I sell them.  

You maen, they sell?  

Like hot cocks.  

Snieznik Incident

Pictures at the Reality Exhibition: Snieznik Incident.

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Pic ©by Zenvampires Collective
Movie ©by Marek Gajdziński 

Date: Unknown.


  1. Hamburg,
  2. Snieznik (Králický Sněžník in Czech, Śnieżnik in Polish), the focal mountain of the Snieznik Massif in the Eastern Sudetes, on the border between the Czech Republic and Poland,
  3. Bukowina Tatrzańska, a town off the Tatra Mountains in Poland.

Main actors:

  1. Michael, a human being (born in Tczew, Poland, based in Hamburg, Germany),
  2. Eva, a human being (born in Poznan, Poland),
  3. Marek, a human being (place of birth unknown),
  4. AI,
  5. Shitake mushroom created by AI,
  6. “Pokój do Regulacji Oddechu” (Breathing Control Room) at the mountain chalet (called Schronisko Na Śnieżniku Imienia Zbigniewa Fastnachta),
  7. Other rooms and spaces identified as the interior of Bury Miś, a restaurant in a Bukowina Tatrzańska, a town of the Tatra Mountains in Poland,
  8. Snow (white),
  9. A group of people outside, minding their own business, seen through the window.

Background: The incident took place in Michael’s house in Norderstedt, a town at the outskirts of Hamburg. 

Michael, Eva and Marek were having a good time over the experimental offshoot of shitake mushroom doctored by AI especially for the party. As a result of the trip, all the three participants woke up in the following morning remembering each the same dream. This itself was strongly weird. However, the feeling of something weird going on went outer space high as Eva discovered on her phone the video footage that showed exactly what all the participants of the mushroom party remembered from their shared dream.

Mystery: The film that registers the single dream that features two locations, Králický Sněžník in Czech and Poland and Bukowina Tatrzańska, a town off the Tatra Mountains in Poland. The distance between Snieznik and Hamburg is about 700 kilometres. To get to Bukowina Tatrzańska from Snieznik one must travel another 400 kilometres. The entire distance to cover in this trip both ways would be about 2,200 kilometres. There seems no way in which Eva could travel to Snieznik and to the Tatra Mountains, and then go back to Michael’s house before they all woke up, without anyone noticing it. So, to explain in a rational manner what really happened, especially how the film was recorded, when, where and by whom, seems to be a hard task.

Speculations: No speculations so far. However, you are encouraged to share your intuitions about what could have happened in the comments.


You can watch Marek’s movie here (external link leading you to Vimeo). 

No person from the Zenvampires Collective participated in the film or the shooting.

Then We Will See

Then We Will See

©text and pic by Marek Gajdziński

Why, if she finally manages to find ‘her’ slope, a really good one, with perfect skiing conditions and all, why doesn’t she then miss other slopes? In the sense that she goes down again and again and is always eager to do another round. And when we tell her that come on, let’s better go check what’s happening on other pistes and slopes, because they are probably in good conditions too, maybe even better, perhaps a bit blacker, who knows, she keeps skeptical, refuses. How come, we wonder, that you, usually so restless, so curious, always looking for something new, how come you’re not bored by this repetition? Repetition my ass, she says, what repetition? We stare at her speechless, flabbergasted. You can’t go down the same slope twice, she explains, calmly. Just like you can’t enter the same dragon twice, leave the same opera show, love the same person. Now, the question is, she hears herself saying to us from the distance, as she starts her hundredth round in a row, can you watch the same movie twice?

Let’s film her, someone says, pulling out a phone. Then we’ll see.


Can-can (Operetta in Three Acts)

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Music by Zenvampires Collective (we mixed a Creative Commons Public Domain File)
Pic not by us but ours. In a certain sense. By DALL·E.

0:00 / 0:00

Act 1

Can you can-can?

I beg your pardon?

Can you do the can-can?

Can I do what?

Can-can. A dance. Have you seen Orphée aux Enfers?

About orphans? Wasn’t it Les Misérables?

No, about Orpheus. A musical by Offenbach. Orpheus in the Underworld was the title.

And what about it?

There was a piece in it, called “Can-can Infernal”. You know, high kicks, skirts, and petticoats waving, pussy flashing. Can you do that?

No, I can’t. Can you?


Act 2

Can you can a can?

Yes, you can.

No, I mean you. Can you can a can?

Why shouldn’t I?

But can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

No, I cunt.

You cunt?

No, you cunt.


Act 3

It was the galop.


The galop. Not the can-can.

What do you mean? Where?

And it was not a musical. It was an operetta.

Which one?

Orphée aux Enfers.

Was it?

And the piece was called “Galop Infernal” by Offenbach.


Yes, the galop. Not the can-can.

Who cares?


Jesus in the Wheat Field

Jesus in the Wheat Field

Text ©by Marek Gajdziński
Pics kindly created by DALL·E

Where did you get that from, asked Kasia.

She was pointing her finger at a painting hanging on the hallway wall, close to the restroom.

Wow, said Adam, this is superb.

Frankly speaking, I said, I don’t remember.

It was as if the painting had always been with me. It depicted Jesus with several of his disciples walking through a field overgrown with tall wheat. Fairly realistically rendered figures, exaggerated colours, a typical folk devotional painting. I have always admired its close-to-perfect cheesiness.

This paining has always been there, said Michal.

As far as his perspective is concerned, he’s absolutely right, I thought. When he was born, the painting had already been there,

You’re so lucky, said Kasia to Michal, having it around all the time.

Yes, I like that painting, said Michal, especially for Astra being in it.

What do you mean, asked Adam, Astra is in the painting? Where?

There, said Michal, indicating some spot within the field.

Where, said Kasia, there’s nothing there.  

Astra’s there alright, said Michal, and if you cannot see her, it’s because of the tall grass.

Astra wagged her tail happily as soon as it donned on her that we had been talking about her.

Morning Coffee Incident

Pictures at the Reality Exhibition: Morning Coffee Incident

Date and time of the incident: 26/3/2023, early morning. Not sure about the exact time, there was a daylight saving time change during the night.

Main actors: a wall (white), induction cooker (black, German; if you think about “East Coker”, a village in Somerset or the title of the second part of TS Eliot’s poem “Four Quartets”, I’m not sure if there is any meaningful connection), kettle (silver, from Cheap Kettle Deals), cooking pot (silver, Norwegian), coffee maker (red/silver, Italian), milk pot (silver, Polish), shirt (white, made in Taiwan), human being (light brown, no further data available).

Speculations: The incident might be somehow connected with an episode of the second season of the TV series Fauda about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict or, more specifically, what is referred to as the 2014 Israel – Gaza conflict. The plot of the second season is mostly driven by Al-Maqdisi’s seeking revenge for the killing of Sheikh Awadalla, his father and a Palestinian spiritual leader. The episode was watched shortly before the summer time switch in Europe.

©Pics and text by Marek Gajdziński

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